it's the little things . . .

. . .THAT ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!

Ok, I'm here on my couch, it's a couple of days after Christmas and I'm starting to not be as grumpy. I don't know why I didn't really like Christmas this year. I called my best friend Mel on my way home from my mom's house Christmas night. I was lamenting my Bah Humbug attitude to her the entire way home. I was also NOT enjoying getting the finger from every other person on the road . . . since I was driving approximately 45 mph on the freeway. Why was I driving so slow?? Well, my 85 year old grandmother was behind me, following me home. And since she has no clue how to get to my house, I had to make sure not to get too far ahead of her so she wouldn't lose her way. *Sigh.* Mel told me I should write about this in my blog. So I am. I have two blogs . . . this one, and another on MySpace. The MySpace blog isn't as good as this one, since I can't talk about certain people on there, as they read what I put on my profile. Unlike here, where no one except for Mel even knows this blog exists. Moving on . . .

Here's my deal with the *SIGHS* . . .

I have several different sighs which let someone know the level of my discontent. A few people who know me really well can tell what I'm thinking by the manner of *sigh* which I give. Case in point, best friend Mel can rate any mood I'm having by the mere mention of a sign. But then again we've been best friends for like 16 years, so we're pretty familiar with each other's shit. Moving on....

A *small sigh* is what I give when someone cuts me off while I'm driving, or fails to give the obligatory wave when I let him/her into my lane. *Small sighs*. Not big deals in my world, but is still on my radar as things that slightly annoy.

A *normal sigh* is rare, as I tend toward the extremes (see *small sigh* and *big sigh*) But a *normal sigh* is what I give when I'm standing in line at the grocery store like today, and the woman in front of me is splitting her payment in like 4 different ways . . . she's using her Lone Star Card (no judgement, but I hate the fact that I can't get free food because I haven't popped out like 5 kids, and I have a JOB. But I digress) She's also using a credit card, with like $5 left on it, a tempory check that doesn't have her name or address printed on it, and some lose change. Yeah, I was there a while. The only reason I didn't lose my shit and give a *great big sigh* followed by numerous dirty looks was because #1 I was in no hurry to get back home to ":work" and #2 I was devouring the new US Weekly that dishes about how poor Jennifer Aniston is so wrought with pain over how happy Brangelina are with their perfect life and their litter of kids. And she's so upset about her breakup with Vince Vaughn blah blah blah. Yeah, it must SUCK to be Jennifer Aniston. (YEAH RIGHT) Anyway, so I give a *normal sigh* and waited for the manager to come over and sort out the various payments . . . after which said customer DID apologize to us unfortunates who happened to pick the line SHE was in, in our quest to experience the slowest moving grocery line in America.

And now we come to the *big sigh*. This is my most often used *sigh*. This is the *sigh* I was giving over and over again on Christmas night. First off, I know it's the giving that's more imnportant than the receiving in life . . . but COME ONE . . . receiving is pretty fun (I could go off on all sorts of tangents related to giving and receiving, but I will stick with the topic at hand right now.) Giving and receiving presents. I pride myslef on finding very unique, thoughtful gifts for those I love. Sometimes they are expensive, but most of the time not, They are just things I find throughout the year that I think a particular person will love. I believe the giving of gifts not to be something we see as obligatory, but rather an opportunity to show someone you really care about them, and take the time to THINK about them, and what they are into, what they like, things they would enjoy, etc, etc. I started Chtistmas shopping back in August. I did this for two reasons: #1 so I would space out the money I was spending and not run out in December #2 I didn't want all of the good shit to be gone by the time I went shopping #3 I don't really have a three, but a wise person once told me you always had to have a #3 if you have a #1 and a #2.

Anyway, this year I put a lot of time and thought into the gifts I gave people. The same cannot be said for those who gave gifts to me. (Except for my sister, who gave me the COOLEST gift of all. Thanks sis!!) I know, I KNOW that it's the thought that counts . . . and that's my POINT. I don't think my friends and family put much thought into what they got me this year. A few examples of what caused my littany of *big sighs* over the past couple of days: a yellow gold bracelet (a very expensive one at that) given to me by the person who should know me best in the world. Unfortunately, I DO NOT wear yellow gold. She knows this. She said to me when I opened it "I know you don't wear yellow gold, but the white gold one wasn't as pretty." REALLY? It wasn't as pretty as the gold one that is destined to live forever in my jewelry box because I NEVER wear yellow gold? Come on . . . why get someone a gift you KNOW they won't wear?

Another annoyance: The gift with no gift receipt. I really didn't need 3 fondue pots last year, so I REALLY didn't need them this year either. They need to go back and be exchanged for something I NEED, like a blender or a cheese board or something. But they CAN'T, because thoughtful giver of gift didn't enclose a thoughtful gift receipt. Probably because said fondue put was being re-gifted because she knows she'll never use something as useless as a fondue pot.

How about this? "M" gives me two fucking Sudoku books this year. This is annoying for two reasons #1 I am SO OVER sudoku. #2 He give me the exact smae books LAST YEAR A gift of a book that you gave me last year?? Come on, I didn't want it last year either! Ok, if you're going to give me a book, how about find out if I'm actually into that type of book. If I am, then cool, purchase away. BUT NOT if you gave it to me last year. Lots of thought put into that. Thanks. Also, I'm a snob about certain things, coffe being one of them. HE KNOWS THIS, as my snobery about this he instilled in me. So WHY would he give be some cheap, run-of-the-mill shit, when he KNOWS we only by the good stuff? HUH? WHY? And he give me two Starbucks coffe mugs, which I already had. Nice . . .I gave him some GOOD STUFF. Thoughtful stuff. What did I get? Two stupid books, some shitty coffee, 2 coffee mugs I already had . . . and NO CHRISTMAS SEX. *Big Sigh*

And lastly (actually, It's not last, but I realized how vapid and ungrateful I sound on here, so I'm going to wrap it up) the gift of the GIFT CERTIFICATE, Now, normally I feel like the gift certificate is a cop out. I got this from my mother, who feels like giving a gift certificate is taking the easy way out and doesn't require you to put any thought into a gift. For the most part I agree with her . . . I think when someone gives you a gift certificate to a random place, it's just because they were running out of time, and didn't want to think about a gift, so they picked you up a g/c to Barnes and Noble or something. Now, being the BOOK WHORE that I am, I would probably appreciate that. Or a g/c from someplace like Sephora, because not only am I a book whore, I'm also a make-up whore. I DID receive a Starbucks g/c from my dad and setp-mom, which was greatly appreciated. As they are Mormons and they probably violated like 10 Mormon laws simply by stepping FOOT into a 'Bucks . . . but they know how much I love my coffee, so they did it. Big props to my step-mom, who I guarantee did the shopping. But back to the erroneous g/c I received . . . Home Depot??? WTF?? If you know me AT ALL, you know that the LAST place on Earth you would find me is HOME DEPOT. I'm sorry, you must have me mixed up with someone who knows what the fuck the difference is between a nut and a washer, or some shit like that. Sorry, NOT ME. I'm convinced the wrong card was given to me by this person, and somewhere out there, some tool-belt weilding, overalls wearing, grease-under-her-fingernails having, Ty Pennington wanna be chick is looking at a Sephora gift card saying "What the fuck??"

*SUPER BIG SIGH*