Friday, December 29, 2006

another stupid survey

What's more stupid? This survey or the fact that I'm doing it??

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Lately, my water bill. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE dollars a month. What am I doing, watering the lawns for the ENTIRE FUCKING STREET?

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
I don't get many romantic dinners these days . . . but if I had to shoose, I would pick Eddie V's.

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Last year after the Ice Bats Hockey game, and a few too many Crown and Diet Cokes . . . and guess what? That particular drink doesn't mix well with chili-cheese fries.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Don't think I've ever done that.

5.Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Stewart. I think she was my first girl-crush.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Having sex. Or enjoying a day at a spa. (Not sure which one I would enjoy more ;-)

7. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Shit, I don't know. Ask me again in five years.

8. How many colleges did you attend?

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It was clean and on top of the laundry pile.

10. GAS PRICES! First thought?
Who cares? I work from home and my car stays in the garage. Next question.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you....
And then what? Is there more to the question? Am I leaving them there to die? Do we ever get to come back? Sorry, can't answer without more detail.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Don't have an alarm. I wake up when my eyes open. Or my puppy barks letting me know she needs to go out to pee. Whichever comes first.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I wonder if I'll get to have sex tomorrow. (Turns out I didn't)

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Cotton thongs

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Getting my oil changed and car washed. And folding laundry.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
OK, I'm committed to finishing this thing now that I've started, but who the fuck came up with these questions? Do art galleries take a lot of volunteers?

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Seriously? I'll take sleeping in any day.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
You mean WHO is my favorite character? Miss Piggy.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
I dunno. Lament the fact that we're not having sex??

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
Um, that I'm really 24 and weigh 112 pounds?

22. How many joints pop when you get out of bed in the morning?
More than I want to mention.

23. What is the biggest amount of $$ you have made from a yard sale?
I don't know – I've never yard-sold.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Boar's Head Turkey Breast

25. What do you get every time you go into a WAWA?
What the fuck is a WAWA?

26. Beach or lake?
Is this a trick question, considering lake Austin has a beach? Are you asking if I want to be wet or sandy? Or if I prefer salt to freshwater? Are there sharks present? Need clarification, please.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented?
That was invented to what? Spur more toaster sales? Enrich the diamond industry?

28. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
too many people to mention

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Watching exercise TV while sitting on the couch eating Betty Crocker icing out of the container.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Dirty Dancing. Nobody leaves Baby in the corner!

31. What's your drink?
Grande Latte, no foam, one Splenda, and make it snappy.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Hate the author of this survey.

33. Cops or Robbers?
A lot.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
Yes, if he's trying to kill Kim Bauer. I can't stand her.

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
Angelina Jolie. (Oh, please. This is a bullshit survey, therefore I am allowed to give bullshit answers.)

37. What do you want when you are sick?
To be left the fuck alone.

38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Everyone. So I can show off the fact that I look MUCH better now than I did in high school.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Magic 95.5

42. Norm or Cliff?
Neither. Hated Cheers.

43. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
The Cosby Show circa 1990

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not letting him go when I should have.

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Since I work from home, my puppy sits across from me. So I guess the answer would be yes.

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
The person who came up with these retarded questions. Or possibly myself for not having the self-control to simply shit-can it when I realized it was ridiculous.

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
I would like for me and Melissa to have dinner with Oprah and Gayle

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

50. Last book you read for real?
As opposed to having read for fake? Julie and Julia by Julie Powell

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
Do the Starbucks Bearistas count? If so then yes. I have like 35 of them.

52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Rehab? I don't know.

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Nowhere, as am anxiously awaiting California to break off into the sea already. Nevada needs a coastline, baby!

54. Number of texts in a day?

56. Do you go to church?
Do you consider Nordstrom's shoe and cosmetics departments a place of worship? If so, then yes.

57. Pencil or pen?
A pen.

58. Bueller??? Bueller??? Bueller???
Is this a question??? WTF?

59. How many jobs have you had?
4 professional (meaning post-college)

And… that's where the survey ends. Thank god!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

it's the little things . . .


Ok, I'm here on my couch, it's a couple of days after Christmas and I'm starting to not be as grumpy. I don't know why I didn't really like Christmas this year. I called my best friend Mel on my way home from my mom's house Christmas night. I was lamenting my Bah Humbug attitude to her the entire way home. I was also NOT enjoying getting the finger from every other person on the road . . . since I was driving approximately 45 mph on the freeway. Why was I driving so slow?? Well, my 85 year old grandmother was behind me, following me home. And since she has no clue how to get to my house, I had to make sure not to get too far ahead of her so she wouldn't lose her way. *Sigh.* Mel told me I should write about this in my blog. So I am. I have two blogs . . . this one, and another on MySpace. The MySpace blog isn't as good as this one, since I can't talk about certain people on there, as they read what I put on my profile. Unlike here, where no one except for Mel even knows this blog exists. Moving on . . .

Here's my deal with the *SIGHS* . . .

I have several different sighs which let someone know the level of my discontent. A few people who know me really well can tell what I'm thinking by the manner of *sigh* which I give. Case in point, best friend Mel can rate any mood I'm having by the mere mention of a sign. But then again we've been best friends for like 16 years, so we're pretty familiar with each other's shit. Moving on....

A *small sigh* is what I give when someone cuts me off while I'm driving, or fails to give the obligatory wave when I let him/her into my lane. *Small sighs*. Not big deals in my world, but is still on my radar as things that slightly annoy.

A *normal sigh* is rare, as I tend toward the extremes (see *small sigh* and *big sigh*) But a *normal sigh* is what I give when I'm standing in line at the grocery store like today, and the woman in front of me is splitting her payment in like 4 different ways . . . she's using her Lone Star Card (no judgement, but I hate the fact that I can't get free food because I haven't popped out like 5 kids, and I have a JOB. But I digress) She's also using a credit card, with like $5 left on it, a tempory check that doesn't have her name or address printed on it, and some lose change. Yeah, I was there a while. The only reason I didn't lose my shit and give a *great big sigh* followed by numerous dirty looks was because #1 I was in no hurry to get back home to ":work" and #2 I was devouring the new US Weekly that dishes about how poor Jennifer Aniston is so wrought with pain over how happy Brangelina are with their perfect life and their litter of kids. And she's so upset about her breakup with Vince Vaughn blah blah blah. Yeah, it must SUCK to be Jennifer Aniston. (YEAH RIGHT) Anyway, so I give a *normal sigh* and waited for the manager to come over and sort out the various payments . . . after which said customer DID apologize to us unfortunates who happened to pick the line SHE was in, in our quest to experience the slowest moving grocery line in America.

And now we come to the *big sigh*. This is my most often used *sigh*. This is the *sigh* I was giving over and over again on Christmas night. First off, I know it's the giving that's more imnportant than the receiving in life . . . but COME ONE . . . receiving is pretty fun (I could go off on all sorts of tangents related to giving and receiving, but I will stick with the topic at hand right now.) Giving and receiving presents. I pride myslef on finding very unique, thoughtful gifts for those I love. Sometimes they are expensive, but most of the time not, They are just things I find throughout the year that I think a particular person will love. I believe the giving of gifts not to be something we see as obligatory, but rather an opportunity to show someone you really care about them, and take the time to THINK about them, and what they are into, what they like, things they would enjoy, etc, etc. I started Chtistmas shopping back in August. I did this for two reasons: #1 so I would space out the money I was spending and not run out in December #2 I didn't want all of the good shit to be gone by the time I went shopping #3 I don't really have a three, but a wise person once told me you always had to have a #3 if you have a #1 and a #2.

Anyway, this year I put a lot of time and thought into the gifts I gave people. The same cannot be said for those who gave gifts to me. (Except for my sister, who gave me the COOLEST gift of all. Thanks sis!!) I know, I KNOW that it's the thought that counts . . . and that's my POINT. I don't think my friends and family put much thought into what they got me this year. A few examples of what caused my littany of *big sighs* over the past couple of days: a yellow gold bracelet (a very expensive one at that) given to me by the person who should know me best in the world. Unfortunately, I DO NOT wear yellow gold. She knows this. She said to me when I opened it "I know you don't wear yellow gold, but the white gold one wasn't as pretty." REALLY? It wasn't as pretty as the gold one that is destined to live forever in my jewelry box because I NEVER wear yellow gold? Come on . . . why get someone a gift you KNOW they won't wear?

Another annoyance: The gift with no gift receipt. I really didn't need 3 fondue pots last year, so I REALLY didn't need them this year either. They need to go back and be exchanged for something I NEED, like a blender or a cheese board or something. But they CAN'T, because thoughtful giver of gift didn't enclose a thoughtful gift receipt. Probably because said fondue put was being re-gifted because she knows she'll never use something as useless as a fondue pot.

How about this? "M" gives me two fucking Sudoku books this year. This is annoying for two reasons #1 I am SO OVER sudoku. #2 He give me the exact smae books LAST YEAR A gift of a book that you gave me last year?? Come on, I didn't want it last year either! Ok, if you're going to give me a book, how about find out if I'm actually into that type of book. If I am, then cool, purchase away. BUT NOT if you gave it to me last year. Lots of thought put into that. Thanks. Also, I'm a snob about certain things, coffe being one of them. HE KNOWS THIS, as my snobery about this he instilled in me. So WHY would he give be some cheap, run-of-the-mill shit, when he KNOWS we only by the good stuff? HUH? WHY? And he give me two Starbucks coffe mugs, which I already had. Nice . . .I gave him some GOOD STUFF. Thoughtful stuff. What did I get? Two stupid books, some shitty coffee, 2 coffee mugs I already had . . . and NO CHRISTMAS SEX. *Big Sigh*

And lastly (actually, It's not last, but I realized how vapid and ungrateful I sound on here, so I'm going to wrap it up) the gift of the GIFT CERTIFICATE, Now, normally I feel like the gift certificate is a cop out. I got this from my mother, who feels like giving a gift certificate is taking the easy way out and doesn't require you to put any thought into a gift. For the most part I agree with her . . . I think when someone gives you a gift certificate to a random place, it's just because they were running out of time, and didn't want to think about a gift, so they picked you up a g/c to Barnes and Noble or something. Now, being the BOOK WHORE that I am, I would probably appreciate that. Or a g/c from someplace like Sephora, because not only am I a book whore, I'm also a make-up whore. I DID receive a Starbucks g/c from my dad and setp-mom, which was greatly appreciated. As they are Mormons and they probably violated like 10 Mormon laws simply by stepping FOOT into a 'Bucks . . . but they know how much I love my coffee, so they did it. Big props to my step-mom, who I guarantee did the shopping. But back to the erroneous g/c I received . . . Home Depot??? WTF?? If you know me AT ALL, you know that the LAST place on Earth you would find me is HOME DEPOT. I'm sorry, you must have me mixed up with someone who knows what the fuck the difference is between a nut and a washer, or some shit like that. Sorry, NOT ME. I'm convinced the wrong card was given to me by this person, and somewhere out there, some tool-belt weilding, overalls wearing, grease-under-her-fingernails having, Ty Pennington wanna be chick is looking at a Sephora gift card saying "What the fuck??"


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

the day after . . .

Ahhh, the day after Christmas. What would I like to be doing? Scouring all of my favorite stores for all the bargains. What am I ACTUALLY doing? Sitting in my couch in my Christmas jammies pretending to work. Since I am lucky enough to work from home, I just have to be logged onto our company e-mail in case there are any marketing "emergencies" the day after Christmas. Since that is not likely to happen . . . especially since both my assistant and my inside-sales customer service rep both came down with sudden "day-after-Christmas-illnesses", I won't be working much.

So, instead I am catching up on all of the blogs I read daily, but haven't had a chance to over the past few days. (See Shout Outs) and TRYING to figure out how to properly post on here. I am a newcomer, so posting pictures, adding links, etc I am painfully bad at. It seems simple, and it is . . . yet I think there is a much be an easier way than the way I'm doing it. Will look read posts in the Blogger Help section later today.

I also decided to post some of my Christmas loot. On a scale of Christmas's past, this one was a little "lite" on the gifts received, but pretty heavy on the gifts given. Meaning, I started shopping for the perfect gifts for my friends and family back in August. The same is not true for said friends and family. That, plus boyfriend #1 "B" called me when he woke up in (in New York) and was PISSED I hadn't called him yet. He failed to understand that I had been up since 5 a.m. getting my niece's "Santa gifts" ready. More about "B" later. Boyfriend #2, "M" was a bit disappointing on the gifts as well as the "Christmas Sex" fronts . More on him later as well.
However, all wasn't bad, as I did some shopping for myself. Here are some of the Beauty goods:

The Laura Geller Baked Beauties Collection.

Benefit Lip Plump in Yoo Hoo and Lip Plump lip base.

The Lancome Diamond Soiree Collection and my new FAVORITE mascara, Fatale

Joe Malone fragrance gift set.

Hard to find, sold out EVERYWHERE Chanel's Noir Ceramic and Blanc Ceramic Nail Polish.

Nars Ultimate Orgasm II set

Laura Mercier Mini Eye and Lip Paints

Laura Mercier Mini Lip gloss set

Laura Mercier Clementine Bath Collection

And since a girl can't live on make-up and bath stiff alone, here are books I've recently purchased/received:

All available on Make sure to check out A Thousand Dollars for a Kiss, by fellow Blogger and MySpace friend, Cindy Bokma, a.k.a. Distressed Jeans. For her blog, click here:

Needless to say, I will be reading and looking good well into the new year!



Friday, December 22, 2006

I should be working . . .

Technically, I should be working right now. But since I work from home, and I'm currently sitting here in my pajamas, who would know, right? I'm ready for it to be 2:00, as that is the "official" time we're off work.

I guess I should tell you what kind of work I do. I work for an educational marketing data company. I am a Senior Account Executive. That's really code for "The person who has to take the shit storm when sales don't come in." We sell mailing lists to education companies, and we also do e-mail deployments. My territory is Texas, all the way west to CA, as well as Canada. It's a fun job. Perks: I work from home on my couch in my jammies, the pay is GREAT, my boss is cool, I get to travel to some cool places on the company dime.

So, here's a little more about me: I'm "single" at the moment. I put that in "quotes " because I guess technically I'm dating someone, however I have a somewhat complicated personal life . . . but more about that later. I live in Austin, TX. I LOVE it here. My mom and step dad live here, as do my sister, brother-in-law and beautiful niece. I have an awesome 4 bedroom, 3 bath house that I truly love. Here are some pics of my new furniture and Chritmas decorations. I truly love being at my house, which is good, since I work here too. I read this book called The Emotional House that talks all about creating a living space that suits the emotions you feel while in each particular room. Highly recommended book. Click here to see it on Amazon

Ok, I need to get back to work . . . which is actually code for "I need to do some laundry and wrap presents."



Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The first post . . .

There's nothing like a good dose of personal humiliation to thrust you into the world of blogging. Maybe it's the need to air your personal embarassments in a semi-public forum. As if putting it out there for the whole world to read somehow lessens the shame of it all . . . but knowing that it is somewhat "anonymous" makes it feel safe.

So here's the deal . . . I got busted violating my company's "ethics and decency code pertaining to internet use." Nice.

There's nothing like getting a call from our boss saying "We need to talk." Apparently our IT department had been monitoring my internet usage. I work from home, so in order to access my work e-mail, our databases, etc I have to sign into the company network. And evidently, when you do that, NOTHING is private, including my personal e-mails on my Yahoo account.

So you might think "What's the big deal?" Weeeelllll . . . I trade some VERY risque e-mails with the boy I'm seeing at the moment. And when I say risque, I mean totally vulgar, sexual, crazy shit. In other words, NOTHING you want the President of the company you work or your boss reading . . . which is exactly what happened. I am MORTIFIED. I could crawl under my couch and DIE. I mean, I can be a FREAKY CHICK. NOT something you want your boss to know about you.

So, needless to say, I now use my personal laptop for anything not having something to do with work.

I am a nasty, nasty girl. There, I said it. Moving on . . .

As I said on my profile, I decided to do this blog because I read and enjoy so many other blogs on a daily basis (see Shout Outs) . . . I figured I'd contribute something to the blogging world as well, instead of just sitting and sucking up the clever and insightful posts of others.

Problem is, I have no idea what to write about. I guess I could write about my life. It's not very interesting I don't think . . . however my therapist said to me today that I have a life full of drama and issues, and that I consistently have a dichotomy in my life. Hmmm. True? Yes. Probably. I guess so. In theory my life should be very simple. I have no children. I have a cute shih tzu puppy who is the love of my life. Yes, I do have a somewhat compicated personal life. And I do have a somewhat interesting "life story" I guess . . .but that is primarily because of bad life choices, which resulted in some crazy shit happening. But I'm basically a normal girl, living in Austin, Texas, who loves to read, shop, and play with her puppy . . . oh, and who gets busted for indencency.

But I really am a nice girl. Keep reading . . . you'll see ;-)


~ T.A.C.