another stupid survey

What's more stupid? This survey or the fact that I'm doing it??

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Lately, my water bill. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE dollars a month. What am I doing, watering the lawns for the ENTIRE FUCKING STREET?


2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
I don't get many romantic dinners these days . . . but if I had to shoose, I would pick Eddie V's.


3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Last year after the Ice Bats Hockey game, and a few too many Crown and Diet Cokes . . . and guess what? That particular drink doesn't mix well with chili-cheese fries.


4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Don't think I've ever done that.



5.Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Stewart. I think she was my first girl-crush.


6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Having sex. Or enjoying a day at a spa. (Not sure which one I would enjoy more ;-)


7. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Shit, I don't know. Ask me again in five years.


8. How many colleges did you attend?
One


9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It was clean and on top of the laundry pile.


10. GAS PRICES! First thought?
Who cares? I work from home and my car stays in the garage. Next question.


11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you....
And then what? Is there more to the question? Am I leaving them there to die? Do we ever get to come back? Sorry, can't answer without more detail.



12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Don't have an alarm. I wake up when my eyes open. Or my puppy barks letting me know she needs to go out to pee. Whichever comes first.



13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I wonder if I'll get to have sex tomorrow. (Turns out I didn't)

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Cotton thongs


15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Clean.


16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Getting my oil changed and car washed. And folding laundry.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
OK, I'm committed to finishing this thing now that I've started, but who the fuck came up with these questions? Do art galleries take a lot of volunteers?


18. Get up early or sleep in?
Seriously? I'll take sleeping in any day.


19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
You mean WHO is my favorite character? Miss Piggy.


20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
I dunno. Lament the fact that we're not having sex??


21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
Um, that I'm really 24 and weigh 112 pounds?


22. How many joints pop when you get out of bed in the morning?
More than I want to mention.


23. What is the biggest amount of $$ you have made from a yard sale?
I don't know – I've never yard-sold.


24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Boar's Head Turkey Breast


25. What do you get every time you go into a WAWA?
What the fuck is a WAWA?



26. Beach or lake?
Is this a trick question, considering lake Austin has a beach? Are you asking if I want to be wet or sandy? Or if I prefer salt to freshwater? Are there sharks present? Need clarification, please.



27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented?
That was invented to what? Spur more toaster sales? Enrich the diamond industry?


28. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
too many people to mention

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Watching exercise TV while sitting on the couch eating Betty Crocker icing out of the container.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Dirty Dancing. Nobody leaves Baby in the corner!


31. What's your drink?
Grande Latte, no foam, one Splenda, and make it snappy.


32. Cowboys or Indians?
Hate the author of this survey.

33. Cops or Robbers?
A lot.


34. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
Yes, if he's trying to kill Kim Bauer. I can't stand her.


35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
Angelina Jolie. (Oh, please. This is a bullshit survey, therefore I am allowed to give bullshit answers.)



37. What do you want when you are sick?
To be left the fuck alone.


38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Everyone. So I can show off the fact that I look MUCH better now than I did in high school.


39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Magic 95.5


42. Norm or Cliff?
Neither. Hated Cheers.



43. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
The Cosby Show circa 1990


44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not letting him go when I should have.


45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Since I work from home, my puppy sits across from me. So I guess the answer would be yes.

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
The person who came up with these retarded questions. Or possibly myself for not having the self-control to simply shit-can it when I realized it was ridiculous.


47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
I would like for me and Melissa to have dinner with Oprah and Gayle


49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No


50. Last book you read for real?
As opposed to having read for fake? Julie and Julia by Julie Powell


51. Do you have a teddy bear?
Do the Starbucks Bearistas count? If so then yes. I have like 35 of them.


52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Rehab? I don't know.


53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Nowhere, as am anxiously awaiting California to break off into the sea already. Nevada needs a coastline, baby!



54. Number of texts in a day?
10


56. Do you go to church?
Do you consider Nordstrom's shoe and cosmetics departments a place of worship? If so, then yes.


57. Pencil or pen?
A pen.

58. Bueller??? Bueller??? Bueller???
Is this a question??? WTF?


59. How many jobs have you had?
4 professional (meaning post-college)


And… that's where the survey ends. Thank god!